My life was in need of a little jazzing up this afternoon, so I sent Matt the following text:
Me: I just want to let you know that in all of my texts from now on, I will be replacing Hs with Ys as a fun little experiment.
No, I was not bored. WHY EVER DO YOU ASK?
Matt: I’ll be honest, that’s a little odd.
Me: Don’t you mean to say "I’ll be yonest, tyat’s a little odd?"
And then...silence. My phone did not beep for another hour, when Matt sent me a message about the Flyers hockey game. And believe it or not, he used every single letter appropriately. Apparently he was not up for my sweet letter switching experiment.
Since Matt was being SUPER LAME, I texted Emily.
Me: Hi Em. From now on I will be replacing all of my Hs with Ys in my texts. Just to cyange tyings up.
Emily (an hour or two later): Way to text me in the middle of the school day, Laura.
Me: Wyoops! Your pyone wasn’t on, was it?
Emily: Well it was in my locker, goofy.
Me: Oy good. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble. Wyere are you now?
Emily: Play practice.
Me: Oy. Tyat sounds like so mucy fun.
Emily: Your new way of typing confuses me. So now I am replacing all my Es with 3s. S33 how long this lasts.
Me: Yayaya. I am DYING. Tyis is yilarios!
Emily: I agr33.
G00dbh3. Yav3 a yapph fr1dah!
Em: I’m bor3d.
Me: Me too. Yow was scyool?
Emily: Good. How ar3 you?
Me: Oy you know. Yanging in tyere. Do you know if tyere’s anytying going on tonigyt?
Emily: Oty3r tyan play practic3? I don’t tyink so.
Our letter switching game kept up at this pace for a little while longer, until Emily actually had to practice at play practice. Imagine! But around 5:30 my phone beeped again. Emily was at the store with my mom buying ingredients for dinner, and she returned to the letter switching game with all guns blazing. She had added at least three more letters to the substitution list and it was positively out of control.
Emily: Ch3ck tye tomato3s and s33 1f tyeh ar3 r3d. Can w3 3at ty3m for d1nn3r?
I was barely able to decode that one, but when her next message said "and d0 w3 yav3 anh fr3ncy fr13s?" I waved the proverbial white flag of letter switching surrender. I could not communicate in that ridiculous manner any longer.
So tomorrow, the language of the day shall be Pig Latin. I sure hope Emily is ready.